Good news everybody! Our long national nightmare is over. For the first time in almost a decade, we can say “Merry Christmas” to each other again! Thanks to our Glorious Leader!  What’s that? You are one of the 76% of Americans who think that the whole “War on Christmas” thing is a lie “made up for political reasons?”  Yeah, me too.  So, from Santa and me, Merry Christmas!

So, here on Christmas Eve, here are some Alt-Right-free tidbits for you!

• 24 December 2017 marks the 195th anniversary of the composition of the poem, “A Visit from Saint Nicholas” better known as “T’was the Night before Christmas.” You know, in that poem Santa is totally busted by the child narrator because the old guy is so bloody loud he wakes the kid up. Kid still gets the toys though, which means all that “Go to sleep or Santa won’t come” stuff you might have heard as a kid was just a lie.
• The internet is full of Christmas music you’ve never heard. Lots of it is free.  So check it out. I promise all links are McCartney free.
• If you’ve never read Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather you really should. Death (the guy with the scythe) is forced to take the place of Santa. It is hilarious and wonderful. A Death tells us at the end of the book, fantasy, “is the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.” There is no justice in the universe save what we put there.
• Apparently the latest thing to show how cool you are is to proclaim that “Die Hard is a Christmas movie!” (We get it: you are too cool for the rest of us to enjoy the mawkish sentimentality of a real Christmas movie. Good for you, champ! )TBS shows A Christmas Story for 24 hours (in a row!) around this time of year. (A movie not without its charms: I still crack up at Kolchak, the Night Stalker‘s “major award!“) . Then there are the stories so endlessly made, remade, parodied, ripped off, etc. that they are basically just noise in the holiday system (A Christmas Carol, It’s a Wonderful Life). Kirk Cameron’s movie, Saving Christmas is officially the worst movie ever. Not the worst Christmas movie ever. The Worst Movie Ever.

Take Uncle jpj’s advice. Skip them all and watch the very best Christmas movie ever, Miracle on 34th Street.  There are several remakes, but don’t be fooled. The original 1947 one is the one you want. It is a deep meditation of the nature of Faith (“believing in something when common sense tells you not to”) that is at once cynical (everyone says they believe in Santa, but not necessarily because they believe in Santa) and sentimental (a time when the US Post Office was respected!). Once the movie is over, should  you believe in Santa? This movie won’t tell you, figure it out yourself. Plus Natalie Wood is the most adorable child ever captured on film.

I’ll be back after the New Year. In the meantime, enjoy the snow, if you are lucky enough to have it!